For years I did my part on dealing with these issues based on Father’s Guidance, yet it still remained the case that time and time again, Father would continue to say that I would be leaning unto the unrighteous - unholy and trusting them more than Him.
Eventually, I was finally able to obtain enough clarity of mind to recognize the problem. Perseverance in my Desire for Truth yielded its rewards. The problem in a nutshell was that when I would seek the Father in private mediation, I was actually going to this image of “god” that I had. In other words, rather than Communing with Father as I thought I was during these times, I was actually seeking the advice of the unrighteous - unholy who I believed to be “god”. I wanted to talk to Father, but I was certainly dialing the wrong number… and those who would answer, never cared to tell me so.
As you can imagine, this led to a lot of confusion and consternation. How could Father Say one thing through Linda and then me have this complete opposite understanding of what needed to be done?
With this understanding it made perfect sense why Father would Say I was not Trusting Him or placing Him first. I really wasn’t. I was placing these false gods above the Father, not consciously realizing I was doing so. Having recognized this, I naturally stopped looking unto them and cleaned up my act. Yet shortly thereafter Father told me once again that I was still having the same problem. I still did not believe in Him or His Reality.
How could that be? Well, there was one more layer to this deception.
As I contemplated Father’s Words that day regarding my “belief in another” and “not in my Father Desire”, I came to understand the following:
- If I recognize that my Father Desire is natural and in me, this means that, as a child, I would have naturally and inherently Known of the Father and of my Journey upon this Earth.
- This then means that the religious idea that a child will become a lost soul if not taught of “god” and taken to church, is false. My Knowledge of Father is not due to my parent’s efforts to take me to church and teach me about “god”, but a result of my inherent and natural Father Desire.
- If I would have known of the Father on my own because of my Father Desire, then all these teachings about “god” and the church have to be a deception. They didn’t teach me about my Father Desire and how to develop my capacity to know Father through it. Instead they drilled in me who “god” is, what he does to those who sin, and why I should not sin and go to hell when he comes down from heaven to judge me.
- This means then that I am not indebted to my parents or abuser for having introduced me to “god”. As a matter of fact, what they did was divert me from the Father and cause me to accept worship to something else.
- In a strange way of sorts, the claim that the church puts out, that a child will not believe in “god” if not taught of “god” is accurate. Instead of believing in “god” children would Know of the Father, because of their Father Desire.
- Just like with fairies. Children don’t believe in fairies or hope they are real. Instead, they Know they are Real because they can see them. So when Santa Claus is thrown into the picture and then taken away, children loose the fairies and the Father. All that remains is the “god” of the church.
- That is to say the “god” of the church is not the Father. To the church those who have an inherent Knowledge of the Father are pagans at best, who need converted and saved.
- Natives grew with the Knowledge of the Father and supported this Knowledge to various extends. This is why they could recognize the sacredness of Nature and of Creation and why they are now lost. Their Mystical and Magical “Circuit” has been shut down through forced assimilation by the Western culture. Their Father Desire no longer has validity. They are as lost as we are in the western world. All we both have is church verbiage and the pretense this verbiage is real.
As I wrote that day about this, I came to understand that even though my faith was real, it was indeed directed to “god” as taught to me by the church. While I had ended my perception that this unrighteous - unholy entity I was communing with was the Father, I was still retaining the basic notion of Father being the “god” as given to me by the church. Even though my perception of “god” contained some Truth of the Father as Jesus is said to have taught in the Bible, it was still based on this structure of deception, rather than on recognition of the Reality of my Father Desire. Does that make sense? I hadn’t realized that in this particular instance, I needed to throw away not only the dirty water, but also the baby (pun intended). It all had to go.
As I said in my “Closure – SP 29” posting, “we can’t find our Way with the Father as long as we hold on to the ideas and preconceptions we have formed in our mind based on what others have taught us / imposed upon us. Even if there is some Truth in the deception, it all must be thrown away, for otherwise we will remain stuck in the frame of reference given to us by the unrighteous - unholy to deceive us.”
So I threw it all away and for a moment things got scary. My entire “god” structure and belief system crumbled into nothingness. What was left? The lust of darkness.
I will talk about this in my next posting.
(Posting has been updated on 110210 to Properly convey refinement given by Father. See "Refinement – Mystical and Magical")