For the longest time (years) Father would tell me how I really did not believe in Him and how this affected my capacity to receive from Him. The first issue Father had me address was my belief that those who abused and manipulated me were more powerful than Him – after all, they were able to do what they did and of course to my perception, Father was not there to stop them. Thus dealing with this meant dealing with the anger and pain of “Father not being there” as well as with the anger and sense of abandonment that resulted from my biological father ignoring the abuse under the logic that as long as the unrighteous - unholy were focused on destroying me, he would be “safe” and out of their minds.
Father Guided me out of this mess by focusing on three issues.
- One was mending my hurt with my biological father. This was a necessity because biological fathers are meant to be Father’s representatives on Earth. Biological fathers are meant to support a child’s capacity to recognize and strengthen his / her ability to commune and be sustained by the Father until the child’s mind and body becomes sufficiently developed to walk in solitude in the Father Way. This means that a child’s relationship with his / her biological father becomes a blueprint that establishes the relationship between the child and the Father. When a child develops grudges with his / her biological father, then this false witness and the resulting grudges are taken to the relationship with the Father. In other words, how we see and relate with our biological father is how we perceive and relate with the Father. [1] This mending included learning to differentiate Father from my biological father by recognizing the many ways in which my Communion with Father had been affected by this relationship with my biological father and asking Father to restore me to Truth at those levels.
- The second issue was to learn to recognize that Father had been with me even during the difficult times, and to recognize that He has held the Truth of who I am safe, that I may be restored to this Truth once again. One could argue why He allowed it to happen in the first place, but this has more to do with the circumstances of our choices and beliefs at any given moment. The more we look unto our parents for our safety, the less active can Father be in our lives (see "Trust in the Father"). So one has to come to terms with this and once again ask Father for restoration to Truth as we Exchange all sorrows, fears, pains on the Altar of Divine Love and Divine Power for Truth of who we are.
- The third aspect was to recognize that the unrighteous - unholy are not “gods” who have power over Father. It was to recognize that the particular person who chose to become their instrument was not “speaking for god”, so to speak, and was therefore not this all powerful, all knowing godlike person.
So for many years I diligently did my “work” on these issues, yet as Father would continue to refine my understanding of what had happened, the theme continued to be “you still go to them rather than the Father” and “you still believe in them rather than your Father”. And for the longest time I couldn’t get it. How could it be that after doing all that I was doing to move past these issues, Father would still say things like:
While you implicitly believe not in your Father Desire
you do indeed accurately believe in your desire for another.
Where you to exchange your believe in another,
for that of your Heavenly Father…
So, it wasn’t until the understanding of the Mystical and Magical “Circuit” that I started to recognize the mistakes and how to correct them. I will write about this in my next posting.
(Posting has been updated on 110210 to Properly convey refinement given by Father. See "Refinement – Mystical and Magical")
Notes:
[1] As you can imagine, this is one of the reasons why many people don’t want anything to do with the idea of a “masculine” Father.