As he contemplated this revelation he was very aware how the deeply seated
pain and disappointment he just surfaced affected his life and interfered with
his capacity to progress in his Spiritual Journey. He could also see how
jealously and competition became more ingrained in him as he grew older. To his
dismay, he also recognized for the first time how the need to gain love and
approval from people like his mom propelled him to excel at everything he did.
Always seeing himself superior to his fellow "simple / everyday" men while
greedily envying the "elevated" positions of those affected by the same
darkness as his mom.
"It’s so disgusting… and so wrong…," Showay thought in consternation as he
began the Altar work to free himself from these distortions and welcome Truth
of his Divine Simple Nature, free of superiority and competition. As he
progressed in this process, he saw again how, as the years passed by, his
interest and attention began to slowly but surely shift toward the cold, non
artistic, callused, and angled drawing principles of engineering. Devoid of
Feelings and Love. Cold and un-compassionate.
"I see," he acknowledged to himself as he began to see images of the
architectural plans his friends in college drew for class. "Architectural
drawings and construction plans are as cold and devoid of True Feelings as
engineering plans."
It was as he followed his understanding and allowed it to expand within his
consciousness that he received a slight shift in perception, "I get it, we
really shouldn’t look to engineers or architects to design structures and
housing. This is something artists should do… artists who know how to touch
the Heart and Nourish the Soul with Beauty…" Looking toward AurorA who had
quietly manifested shortly after his breakthrough, he said, "Not bad…"
AurorA smiled, "your Greater Endeavor and your greater fear become more
separated as your focus continues in the path of the Father’s Direction and
Good Will. Now is the hour your Greater Endeavor shall take a major turn toward
the Receptive-Creative Endeavor. This was never intended to be. They never
believed nor conceived you could obtain such Knowledge. Write down what you
were shown and you shall continue to secure forbidden KNowledge…"
