Recognizing the fallacy of his thinking, his teacher tried to water down
Showay’s dreams of grandiosity to no avail. He was sure to win "the prize" of
admiration and approval and with great focus and pride began preparation for
that grand day.
Early in the morning of open house day, Showay enthusiastically set up his
table - carefully laying out inks, paints, fountain pens, and brushes next to
his masterpiece. As soon as he was satisfied with the layout, he mixed the
first colors and began work on his project which, contrary to instructions, was
neither simple nor straightforward. In fact, to his perception, his choice was
so much more grandiose than anything his friends were doing, that it was
guaranteed to bring admiration his way.
As the early morning progressed, the first visitors made their appearance down
the aisle. Aware of their approach, Showay did his best to appear "humbly
disinterested" even though his heart was pounding strong and his thirst for
approval was great. He carefully but stealthily monitored their progress
anticipating the moment of the first "wows and oohs" that would make his desire
for ‘mommy’s love and approval’ a reality.
"They’re almost here… stay calm," he advised himself as he was preparing to
greet them, yet to his dismay, the visitors simply gave him a brief
disinterested look and quickly moved on, only to stop at someone else’s
table. "How could it be? Maybe… maybe it’s just them. The next group
will surely visit…", he reassured himself never anticipating the fact that
this scene was to repeat itself all day long.
It didn’t take many hours of the same repeating pattern for Showay to finally
accept that his greatest day was not to be. The recognition of his failure
quickly fueled the sense of inadequacy so carefully instilled in him by his mom
through the calculated control and withdrawal of love and approval. With all
hopes vanished, his disappointment quickly turned into jealously and resentment
toward his fellow classmates whose "inferior" projects were drawing all
attention away from him.
